Potations and parties-the proper posture
About the article
This is a digitised version of an article from The Cayman Compass's print archive. Occasionally, the digitisation process introduces transcription errors, or other problems.
See the article in its original context from April 1978.
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Where do we as hosts, hostesses, or guests fit into the broad range of drinking customs? It may be helpful to examine our values and current practices in light of how they affect our own well-being and that of our social group. We need to consider the rights of those who have decided to abstain. Those who choose to drink must also understand what it means to make responsbile decisions about alcohol. Responsbile attitudes toward drinking should make us behave in such a way that we never have to feel worry for what happened while we were drinking. Basically, this means not becoming drunk. For the individual who has made the personal decision to drink, there are a number of ways to meet the demands of social drinking while avoiding drunkenness: Know your limit, Eat while you drink, Don't drink fast. Sip for enjoyment; don't gulp for effect, Accept a drink only when you really want it, Cultivate taste. Choose quality rather than quantity, Skip a drink now and then, When dining out, if you must drive home, have your drinks with dinner, not afterward. Beware of unfamiliar drinks. Don't drink to relax when what you really need is a change of place or some sleep. Remember that the purpose of a party is togetherness, not tipsiness.
PLANNING A PARTY When we look at drinking customs from the viewpoint of host or hostess, it is apparent that they have special obligations to their guests. The host who has misgivings, about his experience with serving alcohol needs to take a fresh look at what a "good" party really is and what role drinking should play in it.
There are, of course, all kinds of parties. But from a twosome to a houseful, parties are intended to be occasions for people to come closer and enjoy each other's presence and conviviality.
The key question is Are we coming together just to drink, or to have a rewarding social time?
We have all noticed that some people seem to give parties that are enjoyable and memorable, but also dignified and socially pleasant. It is up the host and hostess to establish the atmosphere they wish to prevail at their party.
It is a matter both of planning and emphasis. The American experience indicates that it will be a drinking party, unless, beforehand, the drinking is perceived and arranged for as an adjunct to the accompanying social activity. Plan entertainment or activities that will take advantage of the guests' interests and talents. In addition, attempt to involve people with their fellow guests. Such simple actions as introducing new people, providing a seat for each guest, arranging the seating to encourage conversation, and then stimulating this conversation, can determine whether the guests enjoy each other or head for the bar out of boredom.
The host who depends upon quick rounds of drinks to send guests soaring into a "party mood" is avoiding his true social responsibilities to his friends. Many of a guest has gotten drunk because there was nothing better to do. Before stocking their bar, the thoughtful host and hostess will keep in mind some basic facts about alcohol. Regardless of the kind of drink, the essential ingredient that is absorbed into the bloodstream is ethyl alcohol. The speed with which the alcohol is absorbed determines how fast it begins to affect the senses and one's mood.
The host and hostess should be aware of how various drinks act on different people. For instance when alcohol is consumed as beer or wine, the physical and psychological changes come more slowly than when alcohol is taken as distilled spirits. Diluting liquor with a nonalcoholic mixer can help slow the effects of alcohol. Alcohol diluted with water is absorbed more slowly than when diluted with carbonated mixers. The average cocktail, a 4-ounce glass of wine, or a 12-ounce can of beer all have approximately the same ethyl alcohol content. One acceptable way to regulate the flow of alcohol is to serve spiked punch as the only alcoholic beverage. By offering a bowl of punch that will provide each guest with three or four cupfuls, it is unlikely that anyone will exceed his capacity. And remember, it is just as important to satisfy those who choose not to drink alcoholic beverages. For these guests, a good variety of other beverages should be offered.
GIVING THE PARTY
True hospitality involves much more than plying guests with food and drink. Again, it is the obligation of the host and hostess to set the tone, direction, and pace of activity.
Try something different. Instead of sending guests directly to the bar, try mixing people as they arrive. The warmth that comes from greeting old friends and meeting new people may exceed the flow stirred by a martini or a can of beer. Good conversation is possible without a glass in hand.
Alcohol should enhance conversation - not dominate it. If drinks are to be served, it is good to plan the refresh-ments. ment sequence well in advance: selecting a bartender, when to open the bar, pacing the drinks, providing suitable snacks, and, importantly, closing the bar.
There are ways to promote party togetherness while keeping things under control: The home setting - Provide seats for all, plan for people movement, and keep the lights on.
The bartender - Choose a bartender of known discretion. The earger volunteer may turn out to be a pusher who uses the role to give every glass an extra "shot."
Pace the drinks - Serve drinks at regular, reasonable intervals. The length of the interval will depend on whether the guests are enjoying the company or the drinks more. A drink-an-hour schedule means good company prevails.
Don't double up - Many people count and pace their drinks. If you serve doubles, they'll be drinking twice as much as they planned. Doubling up isn't hospitality; its rude.
Don't push drinks - Let the glass be empty before you offer a refill. And then don't rush especially if someone comes up empty too fast. When a guest says "no thanks" to an alcohol drink- don't insist.
Push the snacks - Do this while your guests are drinking, not after. This is important because food slows down the rate at which alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream. It also slows the rate at which people drink.
Serve nonalcoholic drinks, too - One out of three adults chooses not to drink at all. Occasional drinkers sometimes prefer not to. Offer a choice of drinks besides alcohol - fruit and vegetable juices, tea, coffee, and soft drinks.
Offer more than drinks - When guests focus on the drinks, the party is slipping. Stir up conversation. Share a laugh. Draw out the guest talent. A good host or hostess has more to give than just food and drinks,
Serving dinner - If it's a dinner party, serve before it's too late. A cocktail hour is supposed to enhance a fine dinner, not compete with it. After too many drinks, guests may not know what they ate or how it tasted.
Set drinking limits - When a guest has had too much to drink, you can politely express your concern for him by offering a subsitute drink - coffee, perhaps. This is a gentle way of telling a guest that he has reached the limits you have set for your home.
Closing the bar - Decide in advance when you want your party to end. Then give appropriate cues by word and action that it's timet to leave. A considerate way to close the drinking phase is to serve asubstantial snack. It also provides some nondrinking time before your guests start to drive home.
