Have you ever met someone who claims to not watch TV?
It doesn’t sit well with me when people, often smugly, proclaim they don’t watch TV. Who hasn’t parked themselves on their couch after a hard day’s work (including the unpaid and undervalued job title of “mother”) to be semi-hypnotized by “the boob-tube,” whether it be drama, documentary or tawdry reality show?
I grew up watching TV. I used to run home from school every day and flick open the knob of our wooden-paneled box (before the days of remote controls) and tune in to beloved classics like “The Flintstones,” “The Brady Bunch,” “Three’s Company,” and those dramatic yet disturbing “after-school” specials. Sometimes I even snuck in an episode of “The Young and the Restless” if my mother was too busy cooking dinner to pay attention. We also had an Atari and regularly played the first-generation Pac-Man and Mario Bros video games; there was always a jostle over the game console’s only “joystick.”
But now that I’m a parent, the idea of my toddler son watching a lot of TV or playing games on a tablet or a smartphone has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. You see, he is frighteningly addicted to electronics, especially my coveted iPad.
And by addicted, I mean feet-stomping protesting screeches if I even attempt to pry his chubby little hands from this tantalizing gizmo.
It doesn’t help that he sees my nose to my laptop or my fingers furiously typing on my Blackberry a few times a day and wants a piece of the action there, too. A scarier prospect is that this 3-foot-tall e-wizard almost knows his way around the iPad better than me.
He efficiently swipes the screen to get to his favorite apps, and sadly tries to swipe his real book pages, too. The current frontrunners are “Elmo’s ABC’s” and my husband’s music programs.
He magically creates “beats” over and over again like a D.J. playing trance music in a dance club, and I sit in awe of his genius.
One time while I was on the phone, unbeknown to me, he picked up the iPad, turned it on and proceeded to Facetime my mother-in-law, not once or twice, but three times, each time hanging up on her as soon as she said hello. Later, she told me that she could see his cheeks pressed up to the screen and his finger reaching for the red circle (“end call” button) all three times, thus defeating the purpose of the exercise.
All of this has left me wondering: Am I creating an electronics junkie? How much technology is too much? The guilt consumes me, especially after recently reading that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children and teens spend two hours or less with gadgets per day, and for kids under age 2, no screen time at all. Some experts, however, believe these recommendations are outdated, believing that 30 minutes to an hour is more appropriate for children under age 2, with the caveat being that the activity should be “interactive” in nature.
Children under age 2 developmentally grow by leaps and bounds, and if they are staring at a screen too long it could hinder their ability to read people’s facial expressions and emotions, understand hand gestures, or respond appropriately in verbal communications.
But my son already mimics my facial movements: he lifts his eyebrows when I do and squints the same way I do when puzzled; and he certainly understands my finger-pointing “no’s,” despite his unwillingness to listen or change course.
But much more research is needed to find out how all of this enticing technology is affecting our children. After all, iPads have only been around since 2010!
I do feel some comfort knowing that although I watched my share of TV, especially soap operas, I turned out OK. I don’t stare listlessly off to the corner for a good two minutes upon hearing bad news; I talk more than I should, mind you, but I’m a good listener and look at people directly in their eyes; and I can concentrate for long periods of time, except if I’m really tired (that’s when zoning out in front of the TV really comes in handy).
It’s ultimately up to parents to control their children’s exposure to technology, but it is hard to know where to draw the line.
Is giving my son the iPad when I need to use the bathroom OK? (By the way, why do they need to follow you into the bathroom every single time?) Is it OK to let him watch one of his interactive programs or his favorite Disney animated movie “Cars” for 30 minutes while I cook dinner? When I prop him in his high chair or on the couch and set to work, chopping, sautéing, or what have you, it makes me chuckle with happiness as I hear his excited “ohh’s” and “ahh’s” and his gibberish attempts at conversing with the characters on screen.
Since I downloaded the Elmo app, I notice a marked increase in his vocabulary attempts. He says a few of his ABC’s and can count to 7 or 8, although not always in order or clearly audible, and perhaps only to his mother’s ears.
He traces his hands over the letters or numbers on the screen when prompted and when he has succeeded he jumps up and down and claps for himself. (I’ll teach him about humility later.) I have since discovered from research a handful of “learning” programs that are both engaging and stimulating for his ever-expanding curious mind and ideal for his stage of cognitive development.
Although my guilt will never fully dissipate – it is a mother’s affliction, after all – it is diminishing on this particular topic.
Like anything in life, moderation is key; and as long as I select and supervise the programs he watches, I think he’ll be alright, so I’m just going to give myself a (TV) break.
Anyone up for a bit of “Naked and Afraid”? And I’m not talking about bath time, people.
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