It’s a tough life as a heavy metal fan. Ostracised and questioned by everyone from the cooler kids at school (“Why don’t you get a haircut?”) to your own parents (“Why don’t you get a haircut?”) for having long hair. That’s the tough and temporary part, of course. I’m told we become accepted by general society at some point.
The payoff from the initial social hiccups, should you choose to ride it out, is wonderful music naturally played louder and more brazenly than all other genres, a vast tribe of fans who really only feel like they belong with each other (generally socially glued together by beer) and a range of T-shirts with designs that are ridiculous and beautiful in equal measure.
Grow your hair
You definitely should grow your hair if you can. There are few things more enjoyable than partaking in a furious bout of headbanging with some like-minded friends. The thrill of hearing the glorious metal riff that, at that moment, is so crucial to your very existence that you just have to swing your head in a most unnatural fashion is tempered somewhat by having short hair.
Buy the T-shirt
If you don’t have an excellent range of T-shirts with the logos of your favourite bands emblazoned across the chest (and perhaps the tour dates across the back), you won’t fit in nearly as easily. People knowing that you’re a Metallica fan from 20 yards away is a double-edged sword, of course. If you’re walking through the shopping mall they might give you a wide berth but if you’re at the local metal concert, you might just make a new friend.
As your heavy metal knowledge expands, your T-shirt choices will become all the more obscure and many of the people you meet as a result of a kindred taste in music will at the very least become regular faces at concerts. Some will become friends for life.
Remember to condition
And that’s what it all boils down to. Being a metal fan really isn’t a casual thing. It’s not something that you do for a summer and move onto another genre for Christmas. Heavy metal is no passing phase – unless you’re a rebellious teenager, desperately trying to annoy your parents. It takes real dedication, but the result of the time invested is so rewarding: A list of bands you really care about, an excellent wardrobe and some friends for life. And you’ll have a wonderful head of hair. Just remember to condition regularly.
None more metal
Raziq Rauf is the UK’s leading writer about metal music for national and international newspapers, magazines and websites. He remains the only man ever to have successfully drunk a glass of Jaegermeister whilst simultaneously performing a tapping solo as a guest of GWAR. He says that if he’d managed to get hold of Rebecca Black she would be singing about Friday 13th and wondering not which seat to take but which studded armband to wear with her eight string Dimebag Darrell signature guitar.
Thrash Hits is one of the most popular heavy metal websites out there. Go forth in rock, friends.
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