The delicate balance between monitoring your children, particularly your teens, and not “invading” their privacy is something parents have struggled with for years.
In more recent times, it’s become even more problematic with the advent of social media.
But the inherent dangers are all too-well known, as reports of child predators, bullying and other activity inappropriate or dangerous for children are broadcast on the media all too frequently.
“Parents need to be vigilant and keep an eye on their children’s activity,” said Emma Roberts, a counsellor with the Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) of the Cayman Islands. “The Web is global and children have access to the whole thing.”
Ms Roberts stressed that it is really important for parents to know not only who their children’s friends are, but also who they might be meeting online.
The parameters for keeping children safe have expanded greatly in the modern era.
“It’s not just keeping an eye on them playing in the street, it’s also knowing what’s going on in their lives,” said Ms Roberts.
It’s a bit of a balancing act, however, she said, as parents safeguard their children without completely invading their privacy.
To that end she recommends, for example, having the household computer in a public place in the home, making it easier to monitor without seeming like it’s an intrusion into teen’s lives.
Ms Roberts also recommends having a conversation with your teen about your wanting to keep them safe, “from the point of view of caring and loving them.”
Nevertheless, despite parents’ best efforts, “teens can be quite cagey” and manage to do things parents don’t approve of, either online or via texting, emailing or on Facebook.
Spyware
To cope with the uncertainties of the teen years, some parents buy spyware to monitor their children’s online and cell phone activity. Others buy home drug-testing kits, according to an article in USA Today.
“There’s a new set of challenges for parents, and all sorts of new tools that can help them do their job,” said David Walsh, a child psychologist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. “On the other hand, we have very powerful industries that create these products and want to sell as many as possible, so they try to convince parents they need them.”
Psychologists who work with troubled adolescents and teens say parents often ask if they should be doing more surveillance.
“Ideally, parents establish good open communication and trust with their children, and they don’t need to do all these things,” said Neil Bernstein, a psychologist in Washington, DC. “But if the child is doing something to create suspicion, you can’t expect parents to turn their back and not monitor.”
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