Ruby Bodden knows all too well about the ravages of cancer. She nursed her husband through the disease that finally took him at 41. And now she is fighting her own battle with cancer.
She found a lump in her breast the beginning of March this year and was officially diagnosed with cancer 18 April. Mrs. Bodden, 41, didn’t want a biopsy, she told the doctors to go ahead and remove the lump. Somehow, she already knew.
‘When you’re just diagnosed, it’s like a bombshell just hit you. Your emotions are going haywire and you don’t know what’s going to happen.
‘I felt very much alone and so I asked the hospital where was the support and they contacted the cancer society and the hospice,’ she said.
Heather Huizinga met Mrs. Bodden the day she was officially diagnosed, and their relationship clearly means a lot to both women.
‘Heather helped to calm my fears with her experience in nursing and just being there for me. I can call her any time,’ Mrs. Bodden said.
Mrs. Huizinga benefits as well.
‘I learn a lot from my patients. I feel it’s a privilege knowing Ruby,’ she said.
In addition to fighting what can only be termed a very aggressive form of cancer, Mrs. Bodden has her four children to think about: Mario, 26; Terryann, 23; Opal, 16; and 6-year-old Rhonique, who has also developed a close relationship with Mrs. Huizinga.
‘I can’t just look after Ruby, there’s that little girl, too. Her needs have to be taken care of as well.
‘I don’t feel I work on my own. I have a lot of people out there who help me such as social services and ministers. I would work with anybody who will be of benefit, and that way you meet a lot of nice people along the road,’ she said.
Mrs. Huizinga helped place Rhonique in a camp this summer and takes the little girl out when she can.
‘She knows her mom is very ill and sometimes she asks her, ‘Are you going to die?’
‘She’s had to grow up quicker than most children. She’s been very positive and tries to help her mom. She’s wonderful,’ Mrs. Huizinga said.
Rhonique’s and Mrs. Huizinga’s time together is especially important when Mrs. Bodden is undergoing chemotherapy.
‘With the chemo, sometimes I’m ill, but I just look forward to the next one, knowing it’s a step forward.
‘I admit that a few times I’ve cried, but most of the time I’m positive. You have to remain strong otherwise you’ll get depressed.
‘People wonder how I remain positive. It’s through the help of the cancer society and the hospice and the psychiatrist at the hospital. They help me to know it’s not the end of the world. I refuse to give up,’ Mrs. Bodden said.
At first, though, it was all too much.
‘I suffer from anxiety. When I was diagnosed, it was just devastating. It was terrible. Words can’t describe how I felt,’ she said.
Her time with Mrs. Huizinga has helped her cope.
‘Heather came into my life just when I needed her. She’s been wonderful. If I have a down day, I could call her or anyone in the support group, and by the next day, I’m up again,’ Mrs. Bodden said.
She also finds hope through her children.
‘They remind me to stay positive. I have myself and my children to live for. I want my children to continue their lives, react as it life is normal and don’t just concentrate on me, which makes life more comfortable at this time,’ she said.
Even while she needs to focus on her own continuous struggles with cancer, Mrs. Bodden offered words of advice to others.
‘I want to advise people that if they find a lump or anything on their skin or if they’re losing weight to check with their doctors. Don’t be afraid because there’s help but they have to get it in time.
‘I also want to reach out to the people who have the disease to tell them that they are not alone; we are a family,’ she said.
Mrs. Huizinga also stressed that the hospice can help people at various phases of their disease.
‘You don’t have to be at the end stage of the disease to see the hospice. When people are diagnosed with aggressive cancer or some other life-limiting disease, they can call the hospice and we can help them through the whole process.
‘With chemotherapy and radiotherapy, you’re not necessarily curing the patients, but you might give them more time,’ Mrs. Huizinga said.
And for Ruby Bodden, any time she has she treats as a gift.
‘For me, having cancer makes things more positive. It shows how fragile life is. I take every day as a meaningful day and as a blessing.’
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