Hypnotism works as Chuggers blast PWC

A group hypnosis session ordered for players by team owner Kim ‘The Boss’ Awe appeared to work as the CIC Chuggers rebounded from their worst loss of the year with a 30-3 pounding of PricewaterhouseCoopers at the Field of Dreams on Tuesday.

Awe, the local insurance mogul, arranged for hypnotist Dagmar ‘Trance’ von Richthofen, to see the Chuggers during a team meeting following their 26-8 loss to BISYS last week.

‘They needed something after that last game,’ said Awe. ‘I thought this would help them.’

The Chuggers responded by scoring 23 runs in a three-inning span in their biggest offensive display of the season.

‘The game was really closer than the score indicated,’ said Coach Markoff. The score was only 3-0 in the middle of the third inning. They just had a bad final four innings.’

Pat Haag was 5 for 5 with five runs, Markoff hit for the cycle, scored 4 runs and had 5 RBI, and Addie House went 4 for 5 to pace the Chuggers offensively. Mark Wallace and Neil Clements also scored four runs each after getting on base with some well-placed Texas-league hits. The offensive production was a big change from the previous game.

Coach Markoff, who is also the Chuggers’ starting pitcher, was off the island for the game against BISYS. He still doesn’t know what happened in the game he missed.

‘First I heard the game was rained out, which I believed because when I tried to pick of the game on ESPN Caribbean, it wasn’t there,’ he said.

‘After I found out that we lost, I was also told the wind was blowing 30 miles per hour for the game, and then I heard excuses like ‘the umps were blind’, ‘the sun was in my eyes’, and ‘the other pitcher’s balls were moving so much, they must have been doctored with KY jelly.’

Although Awe took credit for the Chuggers dramatic turn-around, team spokesman Fergus ‘Slats’ Osgood denied rumours that Awe had von Richthofen give the players a post-hypnotic suggestion to make them want to purchase mortgage protection insurance whenever they heard the phrase ‘bone-headed plays’.

‘Mr. Awe just felt the Chuggers’ players were too pre-occupied with other matters, and he wanted to do something to address that issue’ said Osgood.

Awe said his motives were pure.

‘Peace of mind guaranteed,’ he said. ‘That’s what I give my insurance clients, and that’s what I want for my players. If they can just concentrate on playing softball, maybe they wouldn’t commit so many bone-headed plays.’

The Chuggers made few bad plays against PWC, especially defensively. PWC was sent down in order in five of the seven innings.

‘We were like the Pac-man defence,’ said Chuggers’ third baseman Mark Wallace. ‘Wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka – bloooop, bloooop, bloooop.’

The Chuggers finished the regular season with an 8-2 record and will now wait to find out who they play in the first round of the play-offs.

‘Hopefully, we got the bad game out of our system,’ said Coach Markoff. ‘If we play defence like we did against PWC, we should do all right in the play-offs.’

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