Know who you are first

Before we can really grow and evolve we must first know who we are. We need to remind ourselves of where we came from to understand where we are and therefore map out where we are going. I mean how many of us really know who we are?

But seriously do you know your family, culture, traditions, and values like say things your grandma used to tell you or your mama used to say. Things your dad took you to do with him; things that only ladies do or that were considered men’s work in your family. These are what formed values, customs and even traditions in us and helped to shape our thinking. And then being apart of the human race we also have common ties that connect us to one another. And since we have to be able to coexist with each other despite the differences it makes sense to be aware of this also.

I remember hearing a story about a woman who would put pineapple juice on her turkey before baking it for Thanksgiving. Her daughter in turn did it for her family and then her daughter also did it. One day when grandma was there she asked why they did that with the pineapple juice and her daughter answered “well mom I saw you do it at Thanksgiving”, to which grandma then replied “oh that was that one time that we didn’t have any limes or lemons for me to wash the turkey with.” So the way that particular tradition got started was by a simple improvisation and no one had any idea, they were just carrying it on from generation to generation not even knowing that it, in fact, was not a family tradition however by default it had become one. I bet that this may be just how some of our family traditions get started.

OK so here is my story on the subject.

I am a Caymanian and my roots are here in this soil. I was raised by my great-grandmother and I knew most of my extended family. As a child I played with my cousins in my grandmother’s yard. I went to church with lovely folks that I call Aunt and Uncle to this day and am still not sure if we are related or not. I’ve spent half of my life in America and have adopted some of their traditions and values but am still seeped deep in my Caymanian soil forever and ever. In my yard I have mango trees, and nase berry and banana suckers, an almond tree and sweet and sour sop. And I even have a guava tree because I am a down home Caymanian girl. But the other day my daughter, who came here when she was four, along with three of her friends, each of which have one non Caymanian parent, went outside with me and when I picked a guava off the tree, all three girls asked in unison, “what is that?” I was shocked and ultimately embarrassed. My child and her friends were clueless about a fruit that I had grown up climbing over fences to get. A fruit that provided me with joy and friendship, jelly and jam for my bread and ultimately a sweet treat on a beautiful summer day at the beach! But somehow I had missed teaching my own child about this cultural phenomenon. And many of us may be guilty of that. Four Caymanian descendant children who had no idea what a guava was! Almost unthinkable even!

Our young people need to know their worth and the richness and substance from which they came and evolved. They need to embrace all the nuances of their family values and traditions and country customs. Instead of them trying to identify with other cultures or things that they are not, they first need to know who they are. But they cannot if we do not and especially if we forget to teach them these things.

We need to learn about our family, our values and customs and begin to really embrace and understand from whence we came because to really grasp where we are going, we must first know where we are coming from.

And for goodness sakes a Caymanian descendant should know what a guava is; it is simply the rules. And tell me how your week is going at [email protected].

Catherine Tyson is the author of I’m Somebody’s Mama and host of the Lighten Up Show With Catherine Tyson on Cayman 27.