Wheaton’s Way

Is it really hurricane season again? Wasn’t it only three months ago that the last one finished?

As usual, I’m behind in my prep work. Best friend and housemate Lynne started plans in March, because that’s just the person she is. As soon as she had five cans of SpaghettiOs in the rations bin and flashlights of varying sizes at the ready (mini-to-Coast Guard), she felt fully justified in putting the pressure on me to get moving as well.

If you’re the kind of person who leaves the Christmas shopping to the last minute, chances are good that you still don’t have a plan in place or supplies in storage. No judgment – I’m as bad – but just like hitting the shops in the festive season rush, so it’s the same when you wait until all eyes are glued on the Weather Channel. There is less stock available and you’ll end up spending more money trying to get even the basics.

There are many lessons we learned from Hurricane Ivan. The first one that comes to mind is that sea water and cars do not mix. Up until that monster storm, people just parked their vehicles by their houses and all was fine. After Ivan, I remember us returning to our apartment and finding sand on the dashes of our Ford Mustang and Lincoln Town Car. Not a good sign. Both were write-offs. Anyone who had working transport in the weeks that followed was lucky and popular… no matter what form it took. I was walking by a friend’s house a couple of weeks into the recovery process, and saw a car at the side of the road with a smashed-in windscreen and severely dented roof. Clearly a tree or pole of some ilk had fallen on it.

“Another casualty,” I sighed, right before a man came striding out, opened the driver’s door, sat inside, stuck his head out the window to see where he was going, and drove off. Was the motor running? Were all four tyres inflated? Check. Check. The roadworthiness threshold had been met.

Now, whenever serious weather seems to be approaching, you’ll find cars parked on higher ground or in tiered garages. No one’s taking that chance again.

Another valuable piece of advice I’d give is when you’re buying non-perishable food items, get stuff you’d actually eat under normal circumstances. The best way to have your pick is, again, to stock up before a threat is imminent. Supermarkets can figure out exactly what foods ain’t popular about 24 hours before the island is under hurricane warning. Whatever cans remain in abundance are the ones people aren’t keen on – even when times are tough – yet whoever leaves their shopping until the last minute won’t have a choice. Dealing with the aftermath of a storm is bad enough, without being forced to eat pickled beans in vinegar. Don’t grab food items at random just because they have a 2032 expiration date – think it through and consider meals that you’d enjoy and could create using a portable stove.

What else would I get after the Ivan experience? One of those showers that they use on boats or for camping – where the bag of water is heated by the sun and there’s a spray nozzle. Holding a gallon bottle or bucket of water over your head is not as easy as it sounds, and it’s certainly not as effective. The liquid belches out, drenching you in waves, and before you know it, you’re out of water. No matter how many times I did it, I never felt really clean. I’m sure anyone who shared a space with me in those weeks would (anonymously) concur.

A quiet generator is also a wise purchase. We had a smaller one that ran a fan all night and that’s all we needed. It gently hummed on the other side of the wall. The larger ones sounded like someone was mowing the lawn inside the house – not ideal for a good night’s sleep.

Hurricane season is a concern for all of us. Every year, we monitor the websites, read the reports, and hope that we’ll escape the wrath of one of those swirling behemoths. Not much we can do about the weather, but being prepared well in advance, having a plan, knowing where important documents and medications are kept, and keeping a store of water and food can significantly alleviate anxiety. While everyone else is lining up at the supermarket to grab batteries, toilet paper and those pickled beans, you can concentrate on what you need to do to secure your home.

Yes, this is all very good advice, which is why I hope Lynne will read it and make the necessary preparations. Actually, that’s the most important lesson of all: Identify someone in your household who gets things done, then lump them with all the work.

Now that’s a plan I can get behind.