Weekender is pleased to present some thoughts on the Golden Globes from our tame Antipodes-born, Barbados-based movie buff who once met John Cleese in the street but didn’t hit him with a tree branch, out of deep respect.
Ricky Gervais is too funny for a show on network television.
“Who are you wearing?” should never be the most important question on any night in any time, anywhere, ever.
Who knew that the future of cinema is not 3D or special effects but a return to the silent era? (The Artist won three awards, including Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy.)
George Clooney is the new godfather of Hollywood.
Michael Fassbender didn’t win the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama, but he did win the award for Best Performance by a Private Part in a Motion Picture – Drama.
Leonardo DiCaprio set the record for longest time clapping and smiling while biting your tongue.
Morgan Freeman needs a script to play the part of Morgan Freeman.
Instead of playing music to end the overlong, self-absorbed speeches of actors/actresses thanking people no one knows, Sam Kinison must be resurrected from the dead to scream at the top of his lungs, “Shut up!”
Woody Allen didn’t show up to collect his award for Best Screenplay – Motion Picture for Midnight in Paris because he was hard at work on his next screenplay that will surely win next year’s Best Screenplay – Motion Picture.
Kate Winslet and Meryl Streep might be the best actresses ever with more awards than everyone else combined, but my goodness they are annoying.
The Descendants deserves the Best Motion Picture – Drama award. It is the best movie of the year.
I thought Madonna was dead. Just divorced? Oh…
Peter Dinklage isn’t a little person. He just plays one on television. Incredible acting. Really. Amazing. Unprecedented. Fantastic.
I never knew Idris Elba was British.
Laura Dern, rightfully so, won Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Comedy or Musical. She really is a wonderful actress.
I’ve never watched Homeland, but I’m guessing it has to do with the Japanese video game for Nintendo GameCube. Am I right?
I’m never watching the Golden Globes ever again. Never. Ever. Well… until next year.
Alan Smithee is a film nut based in Barbados who originally hails from the Antipodes. Once, he says, he told Dame Edna Everage that he knew her little secret, but she didn’t confirm it first hand. He contributes to a number of popular film magazines, websites and newspapers under a variety of pseudonyms and says he likes to keep it that way. Contact [email protected]
Alan Smithee is a film nut based in Barbados who originally hails from the Antipodes. Once, he says, he told Dame Edna Everage that he knew her little secret, but she didn’t confirm it first hand. He contributes to a number of popular film magazines, websites and newspapers under a variety of pseudonyms and says he likes to keep it that way. Contact [email protected]
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