There is a story of the cookie thief that was done as a poem by Valerie Cox about a woman who bought some cookies and a book at an airport and sat down to read and nibble whilst waiting for her plane. She soon noticed a man sitting next to her, who casually took a cookie from the bag.
Although shocked and upset, the woman remained silent as the man, without the slightest sign of shame or gratitude, quietly helped himself, matching her cookie for cookie. When there was one cookie left, she watched in amazement as he picked it up, smiled at her as if he were being gracious, and broke it in half. He ate one half and gave her the other
Congratulating herself for maintaining her cool, she said nothing to this rude cookie thief, astonished at the nerve of some people. Later, when she was settling into her seat on the plane, she rummaged through her purse and discovered the bag of cookies she had purchased, still unopened.
The moral of the message is contained in the poem’s closing stanza:
“If mine are here,” she moaned with despair,
Then the others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realised with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.”
Being sure is not the same as being right. Sometimes we can be so sure of something or convinced that something is so and in fact we are just caught up in being right when in fact we are not even sure. For instance many of us live our lives convinced that we have not wronged someone or have been wronged by someone. We are convinced that it is not our fault when in fact it might have very well been and we aren’t even open to hearing the truth because we are so sure that we are right.
I mean seriously if you run over someone’s foot with your car and didn’t know that you did or even didn’t mean to then does that mean that you did not run over their foot? What is the truth of the matter regardless of our feelings? Intentions are great, and being convinced of something can be cool but if it isn’t the truth then shouldn’t the truth matter after all is said and done?
A famous quote of Eleanor Roosevelt’s is “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.”
Listening to someone and seeing their side and seeing your role in all of it is essential for growth and ultimate happiness. At the very least you would say sorry if you ran over someone’s foot whether you saw it or meant to do it. And, as crazy as this may sound, every time they moan about their foot, just continue to say that you’re sorry because you caused it. You should at least be remorseful as often as necessary.
Certainty without humility can lead to self-righteousness that distorts our view and understanding of the world and of people. Humility doesn’t require us to be equivocal or doubtful about our deepest convictions. What it asks is that we hold and advocate our beliefs without dismissing the possibility that others might be right instead. So if you are not sure that you’re right, leave room to be wrong as often as necessary. And tell me how your week is going at [email protected].
Catherine Tyson is the author of I’m Somebody’s Mama and host of the Lighten Up Show With Catherine Tyson on Cayman 27.
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