There are weekends spent relaxing, resting, and lounging about on the couch or beach.
Then, there are the ones where every moment seems to be taken up by tasks – either self-set or imposed by housemates.
Last weekend fell firmly into the latter category for me, where, by the time I’d (nearly) completed everything I’d planned, it was all I could do to plonk myself down with a piece of toast to watch ‘The Gilded Age’.
The first task involved getting the Christmas decorations out of the attic. Every year I say I’m going to start super early – I’m talking Santa-on-the-front-lawn-in-October early. And yet, each year, December is knocking at the door and I’ve got nothing up.
So, on Saturday, I rolled up my sleeves and… couldn’t find the ladder anywhere. We looked in every room, the back garden and along the sides of the house – nothing. Either the chickens had borrowed it to continue their construction plans on the roof, or it had gone walkabout.
I was in the zone and didn’t dare falter, so I drove ‘round to my brother Dominic’s place to borrow his deathtrap of a ladder – it was tall and unsteady, just like me.
Once I got home, we started emptying the attic, which was a more odious endeavour than I had anticipated. How had we managed to accumulate so much Christmas stuff? I got whacked in the face by boxes of lights and extension cords as I clumsily moved them down, and nearly opened a finger on the sharp post of a metal garden sleigh as it descended to the floor. Yes, I’d forgotten how much fun this was!
I felt the best thing to do was immediately get some lights on the bushes by the front door, because once I saw them lit up, I’d be motivated to continue.
I don’t know what possessed me, but I chose to tackle the large bougainvillea bush first. Anyone familiar with gardening will know that behind those beautiful, bright blooms lies a labyrinth of Sleeping Beauty-style thorns. I had also chosen to use the net lights rather than individual strands; so much faster and easier to get maximum coverage with minimum effort… I thought. Unravelling the net took about five minutes, with some sections determined not to release, and then I had to hold it at a certain angle so the plug would fall in the right place. The moment I threw the net onto the bush, it adhered to it like glue. The branches and thorns immediately grasped the wires, and as I tried to adjust everything so it covered as much area as possible, I got jabbed, poked and prodded by the unforgiving vegetation. It took ages to get it to almost where I wanted it and, despite all my efforts to stretch the net to its very limits, I resigned myself to the fact that a second set was necessary to properly adorn the bush with lights.
I repeated the entire process, resulting in red welts all up my arms, and a good deal less Christmas cheer in my heart. I could only face a small hedge after that before I called it a night. I had assembled the horse and sleigh enough times in the past to know I did not have the strength to do battle with them in the same evening.
The next day, before resuming my festive preparations, I had to perform repairs on a large carnival feathered backpack. I needed it for an upcoming event and it was showing signs of fatigue. I know how it felt. If you’ve ever handled one of these unwieldy, fragile things, you’ll know there’s no easy way to lay them flat without damaging something. Nevertheless, I cleared a table, placed it on top of thick cardboard, and readied the glue gun.
I’d never used a glue gun before in my life, but it is definitely the tool of choice to affix gems and feathers to the frames of these things.
As soon as the glue was warm enough to ooze, the race was on. I had to point it into the right spots then hold the pieces together until they were stuck firm.
I tell you, attempting this small task gave me a whole new appreciation for the people who make these costumes. You try wading into a bunch of feathers holding a glue dispenser, hoping you’re squirting somewhere relevant, while trying to avoid permanently attaching your fingers to the project.
It took me nearly an hour to complete the job, and let’s just say I was being much more precise at the beginning than I was at the end. I wasn’t going to win any prizes for my work but everything appeared to be holding firm.
Once the carnival portion of my schedule was done, I needed to turn my head back to Christmas. So many seasons, all in one day! I dragged out the boxes of lights, and readied them to be set up in the front garden. I got in a couple of hours before the sun started to set, which is when the mosquitoes decided to pay me a visit en masse. I don’t know how many people remember or saw the film ‘Pitch Black’ starring Vin Diesel, but I feel the writer became inspired after a trip to the Caribbean in the rainy months.
I still have a lot to do to finish my dream festive wonderland, but I’m working on it. I think the key to getting an early start on decorating is to simply leave stuff up from the previous year. I may just be a genius.
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