I can’t believe Christmas is less than two months away.
Why, it seems like only six months ago that we packed away our Christmas tree … which was actually the case. I couldn’t bear how empty that corner inside the front door would be in its absence, so I kept our 8-foot pine erected well past Easter. After a while our friends just accepted its presence, figuring they wouldn’t die on that hill when there were so many other more pressing concerns. Like the fact that a lot of furniture had been moved to accommodate a pyramid of cat food and 50-pound bags of cracked corn chicken feed.
As I reflect upon the annual seasons, I don’t know why we have ‘fall decor’ in our house, only because by the time we get it out of the attic and set it up, it’s three days before it’s put back in storage. A couple of years ago, we had family visiting around Thanksgiving time, and so decided to decorate the dining table to fit the theme. Before I knew it, I was up to my armpits in ceramic pumpkins and silk plants in colours of red, orange and yellow. I even went a step further, taking a leaf out of Martha Stewart’s book, thinking that sheaves of something resembling dried wheat would look perfect in one of our tall vases.
Well, as soon as you touched the stuff, bits of it went flying around the room. I don’t know exactly what it was (because I’m not actually Martha Stewart), but it was like giant dandelions being shorn in there. About 20% of the material was staying in the vase, and the rest was floating off, landing in thin layers on everything standing still – a nightmare to clean up. The movement of air from a broom just pushed it on its journey, so you had to approach by stealth.
In the end, after almost every tuft had been removed, the table really did look lovely and it was a very nice occasion, but then we had to box it all up because Christmas was next on the calendar.
Ceramic pumpkins seemed like a fabulous idea at the time … and I’m sure the charity shop we donate them to will enjoy them as well.
As soon as the clock struck 12:01am on 1 Nov., the TV ads switched gears. ‘Twas officially the festive time of year. Frankly, it was a welcome change from the cavalcade of pharmaceutical commercials that seem to plague our channels these days – no wonder everyone is turning to streaming services. And what is with all the anagrams? “If you suffer from Excessive Eye Squinting Like A Deer In The Headlights Syndrome, or EESLADITHS … ”
Now, the signs that Jolly Old Saint Nick is starting to fuel up his sleigh are everywhere you look. The Hallmark Channel is in its absolute glory, with one single woman after the next having to make her way to some hamlet of a town straight out of a Thomas Kincaid painting. There she finds a handsome man with a penchant for turtlenecks or knitted jumpers, and – slow but sure – they can’t resist the pull of the mistletoe.
While locals are planning to buckle their swashes at Pirates Week, I’m already in a panic that I won’t have enough time to decorate my house for 25 December. I figured I couldn’t be the only one who hadn’t yet made a move, but then my best friend Lynne and I went to Foster’s a few nights ago, and across from the parking lot, in an office window, I spied a lit Christmas tree.
“Is that what I think it is?” I asked.
“Yup – there’s already a lot of stuff up around Camana Bay,” Lynne casually answered, not knowing what she hath wrought.
EEK! (In the voice of Beetlejuice.)
Even as I write this, I’m trying to consider my plan of attack. For example, do we get everything out of storage at once (which means at least two weeks of not being able to see the television for boxes), or take a more measured approach? Would it make sense to land on a colour scheme for this year, and thus leave any decorations not in that wheelhouse to sit out the Christmas in peace? Is it worth trying to get that old Rudolph/Yukon Cornelius toy (from the Rankin Bass classic cartoon) working again, where Yukon’s head moves from side-to-side and Rudolph’s nose lights up, and should we subsequently take it to the ‘Antiques Roadshow’?
Expert: “Well, it is so rare that one of these can be found these days, but they do come up from time to time, and are always a thrill to see. The last one, in perfect condition, sold for a little over $30,000 [muffled gasp from us; dreams of wealth; good ol’ Rudolph!], but unfortunately it seems that someone has taken a butter knife to the battery casing to prise it open, which has damaged the material around the area. And that same person, possibly in frustration, knocked Yukon Cornelius into such a leaning angle that he can no longer stand upright, which has directly affected the sounds the toy should make, giving them an almost sinister air.
“Had the fabric and prospector been left intact, and the entire assembly kept out of the reach of cats, this might have realised at least a similar amount to the other model, but in this condition, you’re probably looking in the region of $300-to-$400 … ”
Perhaps we’ll leave that little delight until next year.
This is what happens, you see. I get easily distracted by absolute nonsense and then, before I know it, I’m scrambling to finish important tasks before deadline.
So, I announce here and now that this weekend, I shall get at least one Christmas decoration job done, and hopefully that will get the ball rolling … if I don’t get delayed by an unexpected attack of EESLADITHS.
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