Reading the recent report about Taste of Cayman losing money this year, it took me back to the heady days when some buddies and I decided to produce concerts on the island.
Rather than bring in the ‘genuine article’, we instead booked top tribute acts. For ABBA, it was Bjorn Again; Elton John was Elton Joel; Neil Diamond was Nearly Neil, and so on …
There were a lot of advantages to hiring tributes. They were much less expensive than the originals, they didn’t have green room riders as long as Santa’s list, and if they were at the top of their game, they made for a fantastic concert. We’d go all in with staging, lighting and sound, so audiences got the full-blown experience without they (or us) being hit hard in the pocketbook.
Even that being said, we weren’t walking out of there financially high on the hog. No events sold out back then, so even though we charged a bit more at the gate, a lot of people would wait until the last minute to buy tickets. It made for a nerve-wracking couple of weeks leading up to the big date. Throw in some uncooperative weather and unexpected expenses, and it mainly became a labour of love rather than a license to print money.
At least the tribute bands were fine to fly economy class and stay in double-occupancy hotel rooms. When you book celebrity acts – unless they are very, very laid back – it’s the business class seats, limousines, suites, and only bottled water that’s been filtered through an Icelandic glacier that’ll kill ya.
Before they’ve sung a note, you’re maxing out the credit cards on the peripheral stuff that can really add up. “A tray of unprocessed cheese, Champagne, mixed fruit, crystal flutes … ” Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching.
We got very lucky with venues. We held our events at the old Seaview hotel in the parking lot, and then in the now-long gone Treehouse parking lot (it used to sit opposite Kirk Market on North Church Street). The great thing about both locations was that they had at least some existing infrastructure, such as toilets, bars, and fencing or walls to keep party crashers out. Trying to create a venue from scratch on an open field is a whole different level of labour and expense. I marvel at the organisations that do it – it really takes a village of workers and a boatload of energy and patience.
I have to say that most of our concerts were great successes. We researched the acts, and had them send ‘promo packs’ to us, which back then was a media kit that usually included a video on … VHS tape. Yessiree. Some acts were more popular than others. We brought Nearly Neil down out of Canada a few times, and Bjorn Again from the UK. People loved them.
The Beatles group we booked – The Fab Faux – featuring some extraordinary musicians, including bass player Will Lee from the CBS Orchestra and ‘Late Show with David Letterman’. They played internationally, including in Liverpool for ‘Beatle Week’. Despite all the accolades they had garnered over the years, they got a mixed reception in Cayman. They played songs from ‘The White Album’ and other Beatles tracks that the original band never played live. Half of the audience was thrilled, while the other half wanted the mop-tops and the ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand’s of this world. It was an interesting lesson.
As we got into the groove of producing concerts, and residents would ask when the next one was happening, we were struggling to think of an act we hadn’t had before that could put bums in seats. We all agreed that a Queen tribute would be fantastic, but the promo packs we had received up until then just weren’t quite what we were looking for.
My best friend Lynne and I were going on a trip around Europe for a few weeks, and we’d noted that there was a Queen act in Rome. We decided if we had the chance, we’d go and see them.
I remember that night like it was yesterday. We were staying in a place near Termini Station, where every floor was a different hotel. One bed was as hard as nails and the other was like an old sponge. The wardrobe was huge – like something out of the C.S. Lewis books, and even though the bathroom was the size of a discotheque, the toilet and shower were so close to each other that you could have washed your feet while sitting on the loo.
We had a taxi drive us out to the London Calling club, where we had to pay five euro each to become members just to be let in. The joint was really small, so right off the bat I wondered how good this band could possibly be. Surely if they had any talent, they’d be selling out the Colosseum by now.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. From the first note, we were blown away. Not only were the musicians fantastic, but the lead singer – Luigi – sounded exactly like Freddie Mercury. Over two hours, Lynne and I drank a fair bit, yet it did not cloud our judgement: the Innuendo band had to come to Cayman.
At the end of the night, I approached Luigi and made clear our intentions. The band was excited, but I’m sure took it all with a pinch of salt – particularly when the offer was riding in on a whiff of vodka. Nonetheless, I took their details and promised I would be in touch.
We then got a taxi back to our hotel, which had inexplicably closed for the night – iron gate on the door and everything – so we had to stay at one across the road. The next day, my velvet outfit and mascara on the cheeks did not translate well in the sun, not to mention when I gave our front desk clerk an earful, but we got back into our room. A week later, we were returning to Cayman.
I told all the business partners about the amazing band, and they backed me 100%. Unfortunately, due to a number of delays, it was about a year before we were finally able to book Innuendo for a concert here. By then, with no video or audio of any kind at hand, I began to question my own opinion. Had they really been that good? Were we making a horrible mistake?
When they arrived on the island, they couldn’t believe it was actually happening. They were so sweet. Meanwhile, in the background, I was secretly terrified. How was this really going to go? I would get my answer that night, because I was hosting karaoke at the Hard Rock Cafe in town, and they were all going to come along.
Luigi put in ‘Take On Me’ by A-ha – a very difficult song – and I admit now that I kept putting his request back in the rotation. I would also grab Lynne by the lapels at intervals, saying in a loud whisper, “They were great, right? We loved them, right??” She got tired of reassuring me after the fifth time.
An hour in, I could leave it no longer. Time to pay the piper. Luigi took the microphone, announced that he was part of the Queen act playing on Saturday night, and … (pause for effect) …
He was fabulous, and on the night they were amazing. This fat bottomed girl was pretty relieved.
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