Opinion: Powerful message of ‘Adolescence’ hits home for Cayman

By Aleigha General

It is no secret that social media and the internet have changed the way people interact with one another. People who seemed to previously be on the fringes of society, unable to disrupt youth development with potentially dangerous views, are now closer than ever to these impressionable minds.

International Netflix sensation ‘Adolescence’ hit those themes so hard and so effectively, it is now being used as a teaching tool in schools across the UK. Cayman, as we will discuss later, is not immune from the implications of this powerful show.

The story examines a horrific murder in a small English town. Jamie, a 13-year-old boy, is arrested on suspicion of killing his female classmate. While it is initially unclear as to why he would do something so heinous, it quickly comes to light that the situation is not what it seems.

Jamie is deliberately presented as ‘just a 13-year-old’ and spends much of the show’s four episodes expressing vehemently that he has done nothing wrong, despite video evidence showing otherwise. Detectives try to piece together the connection between Jamie and his victim, but cannot until they are introduced to the world of online ‘incel’ culture and the ‘manosphere’.

An ‘incel’ or ‘involuntarily celibate’ person is typically a man who feels he is incapable of having sex with women, despite his efforts. This self-identification often revolves around the idea that women owe these men and boys sex and they are, therefore, being deprived by women who look down on them, fuelling hatred and violence.

Viewpoints like this are becoming increasingly more visible on social media, with the term ‘manosphere’ being used. The ‘manosphere’ is an online space where men and boys are taught ‘how to be men’ through methods that often start off harmlessly with self-help ideas and being encouraged to exercise. These seemingly wholesome ideas quickly devolve into harmful messages about ‘the role of women’ and viewing them in a subservient role to men.

During a time in their lives where young men feel uncomfortable with their bodies and are struggling to figure out who they are, the manosphere provides a seemingly safe space to feel powerful and exert power over others (typically women and girls), allowing these young boys to develop misogynistic tendencies and skew their perceptions of real gender relations.

This space is particularly pervasive because it can go unnoticed if a child’s social media usage is not monitored. Oftentimes, parents like Jamie’s don’t realise what their child is consuming until it’s too late. Jamie is also a great example of what society does when someone who doesn’t fit our narrative of a violent person is confronted with the reality of their actions. We turn a blind eye and assume someone isn’t capable of harm because of their demeanour, age, stature or a host of other social conceptions of what people will behave like based solely on their appearance.

Risk to women and girls in Cayman

A person might be wondering why this topic of conversation is important to a community like Cayman, but ‘Adolescence’ provides a great example of how even in small communities that seem separate from the rest of the world, women and girls are still at risk of being harmed by men who feel entitled to their bodies. Cayman may be a small set of islands but that does not negate the ability of people to be cruel, nor does it remove young people’s access to dangerous materials online.

In 2023 alone, the RCIPS recorded 399 reported domestic violence crimes, which is more than one crime per day for the whole year, a significant 6% increase from 2022. Just seven years after the conviction of Estella Scott-Roberts’s murderers, and a mere three years after the disappearance and murder of 2-year-old Alissady Powell, Cayman’s women and girls are faced with the reality that safety is very much subjective and increasingly fleeting.

The rest of the Caribbean is not immune to gender-based violence either. According to the UN Women Caribbean division, three of the top 10 recorded rape rates in the world occur in the Caribbean. The global average for rape is 15 per 100,000. However, in 2022, the Bahamas had an average of 133, St. Vincent and the Grenadines had 112, and Jamaica had 51.

These statistics also revealed that many young women and girls in the Caribbean experienced feeling ‘forced’ or ‘somewhat forced’ into sexual interactions. It is an incredibly alarming set of information, but accurately reflects just how many women and girls are mistreated and abused at the hands of men in their community.

Cayman has had a longstanding history of being a matriarchal (women-led) society due to the seafaring tradition undertaken by men and boys in Cayman’s early days. Recognising this, the protection of women and girls who continue to build on that legacy should be a top priority.

Countering pervasive online influences

The expansion of incel culture into mainstream media brings up new concerns of content consumption and revitalises age-old concerns of extremism and violence. With figureheads such as Andrew Tate gaining hundreds of thousands of followers despite his harmful and outright misogynistic messaging about women to young men, Cayman’s youth need community leaders who can be vulnerable and strong in the face of adversity.

Young boys need to see men manage their anger, take rejection and interact with women on a human basis so that they understand the importance of self-regulation, which is a key skill they will need to combat negative perspectives in the future. A majority of the onus, however, lies on parents to protect their young women and men from people who would seek to transform their confusion or hurt into violence and hatred.

Being actively involved in your child’s life is one of the most effective ways to curb negative or antisocial behaviours and ensure your child is learning things that will help them grow interpersonally as they get older.

So how can parents step into that active role and be the first line of defence for their young men without stifling their individuality and autonomy? First and foremost, have candid, honest and emotional conversations with young men. Ask them about their feelings lately, and share your feelings and how you manage them.

Children learn so much just from observing the behaviour of the adults around them, so if you’ve been getting emails from teachers about outbursts and disrespect in the classroom, it may be worth looking at your own home and how different emotions are addressed (if at all).

Learning about emotional intelligence is the next key step in this process. Appreciating that emotions are indicators of a person’s environment, but recognising that they don’t have to dictate behaviour is a major skill every person needs, even as children, and the main way young men will learn this is through seeing their parents recognise this and act accordingly.

In ‘Adolescence’, Jamie discusses his family life with a psychologist and explains that his father is kind and loving, but was once so mad that he “tore down a shed”. This type of display taught Jamie early on that he could have outbursts of rage and still be able to go about his life normally afterwards, something he does repeatedly during the therapy session.

Actively learning different methods to control one’s emotions and teaching that to children will not only create a system of support for youth, but also of accountability for the adults in the household.

Active role in managing social media use

Perhaps the most important step to prevent situations like Jamie’s is to take an active role in your child’s social media usage and consumption.

Often, it can be easy for parents to think that because a child is within the four walls of their house and tucked away in their bedroom, no harm can come to them and they would never do any harm to others. The reality in this new digital age, however, is that often the most damage to young minds is done from behind a phone or laptop screen.

Managing how often young people can use their phones, which social media platforms they’re allowed to use and to what extent, and routinely checking any messages they receive on said platforms may all seem intrusive or ‘too much’. However, when paired with a candid conversation, open and continuous communication and an air of mutual respect, young people can learn to respect the boundaries put in place and will eventually see the benefit of not having unrestricted access to the internet.

The main takeaway from this information is that young people do not stop being impressionable just because they are within your line of sight. They are growing constantly and are always searching for something new to guide them. Parents need to ensure they are that source of guidance and understand that if you do not teach your child how to navigate the world, they will learn it elsewhere – and that is very rarely the safest option.

Aleigha General was the recipient of the Cayman Compass 2023 Journalism Scholarship.