I don’t know at what age one transitions from party animal to hermit, but I guess it happens subtly and organically. One moment I was on the dance floor in O Bar, and the next, I was guessing values of family heirlooms on ‘Antiques Roadshow’.
Speaking of, there was a vase on last Monday’s episode for which I wouldn’t have parted with tuppence. A mottled green with some stones embedded at intervals in the metal around the bottom, it drew gasps of almost horror from myself and my bestie, Lynne.
Welp, it ended up with the appraiser practically in tears, stating that in a good auction, it could possibly attain a price of $100,000. Hands shaking, she added that it was one of the most magnificent things she’d seen on the show.
Maybe my banana vase is worth something after all; but I digress …
Despite my penchant for living in pyjamas and looking forward to films and favourite shows on TV, I actually tripped the light fantastic last week, thanks to Cayman Cookout at The Ritz-Carlton. I went from barely wearing lipstick, to the full monty – eyeshadow, mascara … the whole works. I broke out makeup I’d bought on a whim six months ago (you know: the brand you’ve never heard of, but it’s sparkly and 75% off at Burlington Coat Factory), figuring if I was ever going to try gold tones down the bridge of my nose paired with a guaranteed lip plumping formula, now was the time.
New to the world of highlighting, I applied way too much to my schnozz – I was straight off the set of an original ‘Star Trek’ episode. I washed it all off and stepped away from the applicator.
The lip plumper was an interesting sensation – felt tingly, followed by literally bee-stung after about five minutes. I think plump was a marketing word for ‘swollen’. I could have achieved the same result if I’d lightly smacked my upper and lower lips with a hammer.
In the end, I stuck with the tried and true. At least the mascara was happy to be taken out for a walk. It had been a long time since it had seen the light of day.
Finally, I was ready for public viewing.
Every year, Lynne and I are lucky enough to attend a number of Cayman Cookout events, and I get to host a couple of them as well. On the Wednesday night, we attended the Epicurean Eve in the ballroom. With music provided by Denys Carbo and Max Kazakov and food and drinks presented by sponsors, chefs and beverage experts, it was a fabulous kickoff to the festival. We caught up with friends who come to the island annually for Cookout, while indulging in amazing canapés and scientifically researching the answer to the question “Can one ever eat too much cheese?” (A resounding “NO!”).
We also could not resist the Beurre de Baratte station, featuring its luxury butter from Normandy. Listen, there’s a time and a place for healthy spreads (I guess …), but I’m with Julia Childs on the butter front. This stuff had us wishing we were baked potatoes.
When I found out that it wasn’t being sold on the island, I asked a B de B representative if I could buy one of the pounds they had on display. Clearly thrown by the notion that anyone would pose this question, he stared at me; realised I was serious; and kindly/accidentally said I could choose one to just take. Score!! We’re still using our specially selected pound avec sea salt very sparingly. It is divine. If you find some on your travels, you must try.
On the Thursday night, we had the Barefoot BBQ on The Ritz-Carlton beach. Paul Abel had created one of his spectacular sand sculptures – a giant blue iguana eating leaves – which greeted guests as they entered. Everywhere we turned, there were dishes and cocktails being handed out, including a mighty fine piña colada that I taste-tested several times.
Something you notice at this, and every Cayman Cookout event, is that staff are ever-present, ready to get you another bottle of water, removing empty plates and garbage, asking if you need anything … It is a finely-tuned machine that operates quietly but incredibly efficiently. I mean, I crossed the beach a couple of times to get refills of one thing or the next, and it was all I could do to sit down again. Yet, there they were, carrying full trays as they walked over deep sand for hours at a time, like it was effortless. These people could wipe the floor with elite athletes.
I had to be careful to not over-indulge on the coladas, as the next day I was to interview Andrew Zimmern on stage. The chef and TV personality, probably known best for his series ‘Bizarre Foods’, is exactly the man you see onscreen. He is warm, engaging, witty, and a fierce advocate for food security and supporting farmers. He is genuinely interested in what the Ministry of Agriculture is championing in Cayman, and got Deputy Premier Gary Rutty and Minister Jay Ebanks up on stage to chat with them about it.
In order to bone up on some research for my interview with Zimmern, I watched his ‘Hot Ones’ guest appearance on YouTube. It’s fantastic; do take a look when you get a moment. I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say he got further than DJ Khaled.
While we got a break on Friday night and happily put our feet up at home, the staff and chefs just kept going at the resort. I don’t know how they did it. Working bonkers hours, turning rooms and venues in record time for the next presentation, and getting up before the sun to do it all again the next day. Hell, no.
Speaking of sun, with no sign of it on Saturday, the After Glow party that was supposed to be held outdoors by the pool was moved to the ballroom. Once again, the staff were galvanised to transform the space into Studio 54 in record time. I was getting on my glad rags at 9pm for a 9:30pm start! Just when I thought I would be the only person there my age, I bumped into loads of my peers who were not only present, but cut a rug with the kind of energy that would have had Andy Warhol sitting up and taking notice.
I walked past them, arms laden with food and a delightful spicy cocktail, did a bit of a twirl, smiled, nodded, and kept on heading to the safety of my lounge.
Why can I not get my extra weight to budge?
DJ Selecta Renegade absolutely knocked it out of the park, enhanced by a wall of massive digital screens behind him, running colourful graphics throughout the night. Again, as much as I would have loved to go for broke, I was very aware of being booked to host the Bon Vivant Brunch the next day. With age comes wisdom.
On Sunday, the ballroom looked completely different from the night before. It was now full of banquet tables and chairs, ready for the capacity audience coming for brunch. In past years, it has featured a competition between two chefs, but this year they mixed it up and had the local chef and mixologist champions from Young Chef Young Waiter on stage. It was a good test for the two lads, who will be representing Cayman in London later this year. Kristopher Mason (chef) and Kody Wright (mixologist) had their creations assessed by none other than Chef Eric Ripert and Charles Joly, along with Deputy Premier Gary Rutty, Director of Tourism Rosa Harris, and Robert Walton, MBE, of Young Chef Young Waiter.
Apart from some small constructive notes, all the judges were very impressed with the talent that Mason and Wright displayed. They were more than equal to the task of presenting their skills under pressure and on camera. It will be interesting to see how they fare in the UK.
I wore a very tropical outfit to emcee, so everyone turned into my mother. “It is so wonderful to see you wearing colour for a change!”
It was a fabulous event and there was life in the old girl yet, so we spent an hour or so at Rum & Robusto under (blessedly) overcast skies before calling it a day. I got home, kicked off my shoes, pulled on the pyjamas and happily watched ‘The Pitt’, knowing full well that the fat lady wouldn’t be singing for The Ritz-Carlton staff until they had waved goodbye to the last Cookout guest on Monday.
I raised a glass to them from my couch. I’m sure they appreciated it.
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