I am writing in response to the letter submitted by Kedeshia Dunn in your September 18, 2006 edition of The Caymanian Compass.
I would like to agree with Kedeshia that we as parents need to build a strong relationship with our children, this is how I raise my three children ages that are 14, five and three.
However, I disagree with the fact that we do not need to pressure our children to be the best that they can be.
The teachers are absolutely correct in stating that if you don’t study hard you will not come out to anything. Have you seen the Classifieds section of any local newspaper recently? It is in black and white that the well paying jobs require one to have some a college/university degree.
There was reference to being a dancer has no meaning in life, well not in the society that we live in or being a garbage collector that pays minimum wage, who wants that for their children?
I don’t and I’m sure that most parents will agree with me on this one. If one wants to be a dancer I suggest that it be picked up as an extra-curricular activity and if one wants to be a garbage collector maybe taking out the trash should be added as a chore.
Yes, we as parents understand that our children have stress and well, peer pressure is nothing new, we had that at in our days too.
As a teenager I had the stress of knowing that once I was out of my mother’s eyesight I was fair game for all of the other adults around. This means that if I did anything that I was not supposed to do I would be reprimanded by my mother’s friend, taken back home and then reprimanded by her.
That doesn’t happen in our society anymore. These days it seems like people have too much going on to care about their children’s friends and that is sad.
I personally care for my daughter’s friends and if I am made aware of a situation with one of them I will try to impart some good advice. The main difference is that we were not inundated with the western culture.
By this I mean computers, cell phones and television programming. Our MTV generation was really about music videos, which by the way was not laced with sexual undertones or profanity.
This generation of MTV is about who can be Made, Make the Band (might I add barely clothed), My Super Sweet 16 and the list goes on…I will continue to expect my children to shoot for the stars but in the process will try to ensure that they are guided in the right direction in an effort to not do what I want because I want to control their lives but because I want my children to be part of the future generation of Caymanians that will continue to lead us to prosperity.
I would like the same opportunities afforded to them that are given to individuals that do not hail from our shores but come to Cayman to make this their home and get from us what they can’t from their home country.
The need for our children to do well was reciprocated from our Education Minister when an announcement was made that the Government would be offering scholarships at 80 per cent to students to continue with A-level studies while at the same time identifying candidates to receive scholarships for overseas studies.
The only way that we will succeed as a country is to continue to support and guide our children to make decisions that will put them in a better situation so that they will hopefully live a less stressed life as an adult.
Kedeshia, criticism is a way of life my dear and you will be subject to this every day of your natural born life. It is what you do with the criticism that will make or break you.
I also think that teenagers add to their own stress by feeling that they cannot come to their parents with their problems but rather be secretive about what is going on and try to deal with it on their own accord.
I, by experience, have proved to my 14-year-old daughter that is not the way to go and thankfully I am (now) the first point of contact when there is a conflict in her life.
This you don’t understand attitude has to change because we do understand; remember we were once teenagers.
The other attitude that has to change is I know it better; you don’t and do you know how I know? My mother proved it to me time and again.
There are times today that I wished I had listened to what my mother preached to me about. In concluding I would like to encourage parents to build strong relationships with your children, watch TV (of course no MTV) with them, know who their friends are, who their friends’ parents are, know who their on-line buddies are, keep in touch with your children’s school on a monthly basis to know what is going on there as well.
Parents expect to get the cold shoulder but don’t despair one day your child will be in your shoes and will be appreciative of the important life lessons that you left with them. And you in turn will be proud of the way that you taught them to raise their children.
Michelle A. Bodden
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