The ocean is fast becoming the world’s newest brew pub

Following in the delicious footsteps of Cayman’s own Seven Fathoms Rum is Scottish firm Sunk Punk, which has introduced a new beer brewed under the ocean.

They tell us that Sunk Punk is ‘a 7.1 per cent IPA that has been fermented at the bottom of the North Sea in order to break an age-old curse on the Scottish shoreline.’

The idiosyncratic India Pale Ale is the first beer to be brewed underwater, say those crazy Scots, and contains ‘some hardcore maritime-themed ingredients such as buckweed, distilled sea-salt, rum and mermaids’.

“Sunk Punk is an example of how beer can save the world,” claims the team, quite brilliantly.

“Not only does it provide an alternative to the fizzy, pathetic mainstream lagers peddled by giant monolithic breweries, it will be solely responsible for halting any superstition-related storms on our coastline. Britain, you’re welcome.”

Chuck beer away?!

Scottish folklore states that to calm a storm, you should throw a bottle of beer into the ocean, which seems rather a waste to us but never mind. According to legend, a fisherman with a witch for a wife would go fishing every day and catch nothing. The witch would go to the shore and cast spells of luck to turn her husband’s fortunes. She then discovered that this was because he was actually drinking ale rather than fishing, so she decided to put a curse on the coastline that meant if he ever tried to come to shore, a storm would start and the boat would sink, according to Brew Dog.

“Brewing a beer under the waves is intended to halt the storms and reverse the curse and teach the witch bitch a lesson. We dropped a specially modified tank into the ocean and equipped [Brew Dog staffer] James with scuba gear. The tank was specially modified to withstand the pressure at depth and also ensure no salt water could compromise the beer. We specially selected a spot on the ocean floor, 20 metres down, with a steady temperature of 10 degrees Celsius. This is the optimal temperate for a later yeast.

“A special non-return valve complete with a line attached to a buoy on the surface was made so the CO2 could escape without the salt water getting into the sealed tank. The tank was anchored to the bottom and flew a menacing Jolly Roger flag in the prevailing currents. We returned two weeks later to recover the tank which was towed into harbour before being hoisted back to dry land with the successfully fermented beer.”

Seems like things are getting better for mariners, ancient or otherwise. Good old Sam Coleridge would have to modify his famous lines… water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink (but there’s beer and rum there now so it’s ok).

All we need now is some underwater nachos and we’re laughing.

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