Valentine’s Day is usually filled with love, hope and happiness, but for the last 12 years, this time of year has been marked by pain for Dorlisa Ebanks and her family.
On 15 Feb., 2010, the mom, founder of support group Against All Violence In Cayman, lost her 4-year-old son Jeremiah Barnes when the toddler was shot and killed during an assassination attempt on his father, Andy Barnes.
“It hasn’t gotten easier and as the time passes to me, it actually gets harder. Obviously, this is a very sensitive time for us. This time of the year is a low point. It’s just very hurtful. As a family unit, we try to be supportive of each other and move forward,” she said recently in a Zoom interview with the Cayman Compass.
A pain that time will not ease
Though it will be 12 years since she lost her son, Ebanks said, “We could never fill that void, or never forget what has happened.”
Ebanks’s son was shot as he sat behind his father, who was driving the family car at the time and had stopped at the Hell gas station in West Bay.
Jeremiah’s father was the intended target. Ebanks, who was in the car at the time, was also wounded in the attack.
She said, to this day, the family struggles knowing no one has been brought to account before the court for taking her son’s life.
“The injustice in our case, it hurts even more. There is many different emotions – hate, anger, so many different things that’s going on for one individual to have… it’s a lot, it’s very overwhelming,” she said as her broke down in tears.
The killing of Jeremiah and the attempted murder of his family remains an open case, even though more than a decade has passed.
She said she still hopes for justice for her son and her family.
“I don’t know how they sleep at night, but I just hope that our case will rest on the hearts of the people who could actually make a difference and can do something about it,” she sobbed.
This 8 July, Jeremiah would have turned 17 and, as she reflected on her son, Ebanks recounted his struggle to survive, from the moment he was born, weighing 2 lbs 5 oz.
“He fought so hard for life, and to have his life taken for no reason… He was in an incubator for 3 months and I couldn’t hold my baby. Now he’s gone forever,” she said, in an additional written statement.
Call to action
Following her son’s murder, Ebanks founded the support group Against All Violence In Cayman as a way not only to share her grief, but to offer a shoulder to those suffering pain because of gun violence.
She said this year the family is urging the community to join them and wear orange on 15 Feb. in memory of her son.
Orange, she said, is the colour used to mark a stance against gun violence.
“We can encourage Cayman as a whole to be a part of the change and not to shun it out or to turn a blind eye to the situation,” she said, adding it could be anyone going through the kind of suffering she and her family have endured.
“I think if we all come together in unity in regards to the violence that’s going on in our islands and just around the world… just this little start, even if it’s just the colour coordination, it’s something.” she said. “We would just want to make a stand and just be bold about it.”
Ebanks said they will also be hosting their annual family day at the airport park on 23 April.
“If Jeremiah could hear me… I want him to know that we love him so much and I am blessed to have him as a son,” she said through tears.
Ebanks can be reached at [email protected] should anyone want to support her initiative to stamp out gun violence in Cayman.
Related Videos
