Helping married couples stay together

Help is on the way for married couples who are struggling to stay together. 

Elmslie Memorial United Church has teamed up with Margaritaville to launch the latest in its annual marriage enrichment series to help couples who are having marital problems. 

“Let’s Stay Together” is an eight-week series running every Monday night from Feb. 17 to April 7 at Margaritaville. The program was first introduced on Valentine’s night 2011. 

Each evening starts with a meal, followed by a DVD presentation, which is interspersed with time for couples to talk to each other about issues at the privacy of their own table. The course is not limited to any age group or district. 

The program, which deals with marriage and relationships, was introduced as part of the church’s response to the concerns over the health of marriages in the Cayman Islands, said Dave Hazel, minister of the Elmslie Memorial Church. He cited an earlier report by the United Nations that ranked Cayman as having a high divorce rate. 

“It may seem strange to some that the church has partnered with Margaritaville to host the series, but we have found a supportive partner, who since the program’s inception has offered its facilities to provide an ideal, non-threatening, romantic environment for couples and, moreover, it is a setting that both church and non-church persons can feel comfortable,” Mr. Hazel said. 

The program uses material from the Alpha Marriage Course developed by the Holy Trinity Brompton Church in London.  

Minister Hazel said pastors and counselors can attest that the most frequent concerns people contact them about are marriage and relationship problems. Few couples, he said, get any formal premarital preparation. 

“The program is for couples that want a strong and lasting relationship, whether you are married for four months or 40 years, whether it is rock solid or on the rocks,” he said. 

Married for 53 years, Peter van der Bol, 75, and wife Sandi, 73, said the program had been helpful for their marriage. 

“It was very interesting to see how other people gave their stories and people who were attending,” Mr. van der Bol said. “Everyone has a need to be taught more than just getting married. I think it is something the church needs to do more of.” 

Mrs. van der Bol said she wished such a course had been available 20 years ago to help them get through struggles in their marriage. “It was such a blessing to see some of the younger couples getting it in the last session,” she said. 

The van der Bols said they had heard Cayman described as “the graveyard of marriages.”  

“That is just so incredibly sad,” Mrs. van der Bol said. “We understand, being married for 50 years, so we have a responsibility to be a model of a healthy marriage and part of that is romance and joy.  

“You really can have fun within a marriage,” she added. “I encourage younger ones to take seriously the amazing opportunity to learn something [in these sessions].” 

‘Let’s Stay Together’ is an eight-week series running every Monday night from Feb. 17 to April 7 at Margaritaville.